Morgan Page

The worst year of my life, without a doubt, was 2004. My brother Travis was out late with friends one night. They were drinking and smoking pot, and decided to go for a ride on their long boards. That ride would change Travis' life, and those around him, forever.

Travis' accident

While riding down a hill, Travis gained too much speed and tried to jump from his board. As he did so, he tripped. Flew head first into the sidewalk curb, flipped in the air and landed back on his head. (His friends told us what had happened, Travis couldn't remember) 911 was called, but Travis wanted to go home. So his friends drove him home to sleep it off, he seemed alert and fine to them. An ambulance arrived at the scene to find no one there, but they had gotten my brothers name. My parents awoke to a phone call at 3am, "Does your son still need assistance?". They were confused, what son? So they got dressed and went down the hall to check all the bedrooms. Just as they left their room, my brother and his friends came through the front door. His friends related what had happened to my parents. Travis started to vomit while they were talking. He said he wanted to go to the hospital, he wasn't feeling right. My parents proceeded to take him to the hospital, while all this was happening just outside my bedroom door I slept soundly. As my parents and Travis were entering the hospital, Travis turned to my mom and said, "Mom, I don't want to die". Within a half hour, he was in a coma.
I went about my day just as I normally would do. I went to school and came home. When I arrived home, I found it to be deserted. Not unusual at my home. About an hour later, my oldest brother Brad came home and said that we were going to the hospital, Travis was in an accident. My family was prone to accidents, and the hospital was a place not foreign to us. So we left, but as we approached the exit to the hospital from the freeway, Brad drove past it. I asked, "Where are we going?" He said, "You will see."

That was the hospital right there. Where are we going?

45 minutes later, we were at a hospital that I never knew of. Unfortunately my whole family got to know that hospital all too well over the coming months.

Where are we?

As I was still in school at the time, I had to spend my days there, away from the hospital. One day, after lunch, the bell rang to go to the next class. I started to move very slowly, but I just couldn't force myself to go inside. So I sat outside on a bench and with my thoughts. Just then a Proctor, as student security guard, approached me and said that I had to go to class. I looked up into his face and started to cry uncontrollably. He said I didn't have to go if I didn't really want to, so that class I sat there.

Crying openly at school.

I had to go into the I.C.U to see Travis, something I didn't do too often, it freaked me out to see my brother hooked up to all of these machines that were keeping him alive. As I sat there, I couldn't remember the last things that we had said to each other. Did we fight? Were my last words to him, words of hate? That thought ate away at me for weeks. (And in some ways it still eats away at me to this very day, years later)

Visiting Travis in the I.C.U.

One night my friends came to the hospital to be with, they could see that I needed a break from there. So, with my parents permission, I went to their house to spend the night. It was nice to get away, but I just wanted to be alone. That's how I deal with my feelings, working through them by myself. So I went for a walk down the street. I grew up LDS, but had become very inactive over the past 3 or 4 years. But as i walked, I didn't know what else to do but pray. So right in the middle of the street I knelt and opened up my soul to God. I don't know how long I was there for, it could have easily been an hour or more, but my friends eventually found me there still praying. They lead me back to the house. But as we walked, me quite a ways behind them, I heard or perceived to hear them say something that set me off. I said, "F*** this", and continued to walk past their home.

Praying in the street near my friends house.

I found myself at an elementary school sitting on the curb thinking. I had been severely depressed throughout most of High School, to the point that I had suicide notes that I had written. I even kept them on me. But that night, I didn't want to think of that sort of thing. So I left the notes where I was and went for another walk. Behold, when my friends came to find me again, all they found were the notes. They called the police.

Letter to my Mom, Dad, and friends.

I was found wondering the streets blocks from my friends home. "For my safety", I was detained in the back of a patrol car and put on a 72 hr psychiatric hold, a code 5150. My parents had to get me from a clinic. No matter how much I told them that I wasn't going to harm myself, I was never left alone.

Being detained by the Sheriff's.

For weeks, my only free time to myself was when I was asleep. I was either at the hospital, with friends and their family, at school, or at sports. But where ever I was at, it was always under constant supervision. I lived out of a suit case for weeks on end.

Packing clothes to stay with friends.

Since I was left at the hospital for hours on end, just being close to my brother, family and friends had to find a way to pass the time. We did so with Phase 10, the card game. Our games got so intense and heated that we had to take 10 or even 15 minutes breaks sometimes. But it was a great way to pass the time and have fun.

The only thing that got me through some days. Loosing myself with friends in games of Phase 10.

Fortunately Travis pulled through and is doing well. My family and I thank God every day for the miracle of life that he gave to my brother after his accident. I truly am greatful for his presence in my life. We have had our ups and downs since his accident, but I wouldn't change the time with him that I have had since then for anything in the world!!